#19. How To Be A Christian Without Being Weird!

So as I was Googling for stuff to write about, I came across a book on Amazon entitled Can I Be A Christian Without Being Weird? The answer is no. Anyway, here's the product description:

As a Christian you know you're supposed to be different. But how weird do you have to be? Does it mean:

Bizarre looks-hoisted pants, yuck hair, and funny glasses?

Strange talk-always quoting the Bible and saying "Praise Jesus"?

Unbelievable actions-running to the lunchroom supervisor to explain who started the food fight?

Jesus doesn't tell Christians to ware strange hats or to shave their heads. What makes a Christian different from other people is that he or she is learning to love God totally and learning to love others unselfishly. Now that is weird because so few people, kids or adults, follow these commands of Jesus. In a crowd, a Christian living like Jesus expects really stands out, and that can be tough.

If you want to understand what the Bible says about a real relationship with Jesus Christ, the forty-five short devotionals in this book address the crucial junior high needs of:

Getting to know God.

Following Christ without being weird.

Letting God shape self-image.

Learning to talk to God.

Being a Christian, surviving Junior High and keeping your friends it's possible!

Apparently this book is aimed at middle school kids who desire to love Jesus but don't know if it's worth it considering you instantly become one of those "weird Christian kids" that everyone talks about and tells stories about "praying" or "talking to the ceiling" as the "bullies" call "it". Whatever "it" is. "I" really need "to" stop using so many "quotation marks". I'm sure it's getting on your "nerves". Ok I'm "done". No seriously I "am". See? No more. Anyway I thought I would compile a little something about this.

How To Not Be A Weird Christian by KC:

  1. Well first of all to not be a weird Christian you must not under any circumstances have a blog about God. That's just weird. Sorry Jon, Caleb, Matt, I guess we're already weird Christians and the rest of this list cannot redeem us.
  2. Get one of those cool WWJD bracelets. Everyone has them. They say "hey look at me I love Jesus but I'm still cool because I wear bracelets that everyone has."
  3. You can't read the actual Bible. You have to read The Message because it has a cool name that will make you seem cool. The name sounds like some kind of mystery. The Message. The Message about what? The Message of...? You get my drift.
  4. Don't wear t-shirts about Christianity. The only cool way to be a Christian is to be ridiculously ashamed of your faith.
  5. Speaking of being ridiculously ashamed of your faith... the only proper way to answer someone when they ask you if you are a Christian you must tell them "sort of"
  6. You only go to church "sometimes" when in reality you are dragged there every week by someone who is obviously a religious fanatic.
  7. You can like Veggie Tales but only secretly. Under no circumstances must you own a Veggie Tales colouring book. Looks like I'm out.
  8. You can't give out John Calvin Points. I mean that would be super lame. Every time you give them out you would have to explain to people who John Calvin is if they don't know and that would just make you appear super religious and you don't want that. And the people who do know who John Calvin is would make fun of you for giving out points about him.
  9. The only acceptable hand raising is the watermelon toss. End of story.
Which cool Christian rules have you broken recently? Story time!


Anonymous said...

Praise Christ, if you had said that you could be a Christian and not be weird, I would have come and given you a holy beatdown. :)

And I'm an unashamed fanatic. Broken all the "cool Christian" rules there could be.

KC said...

holy beatdowns... oh my. i mean everyone knows that it is impossible to not be a weird Christian :D

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. Okay, it took all weekend, but I thought of one...

You talk about Jesus when you're not on a missions trip.

wv: sherin

"You know, you got to go on one of them there missions trips to be sherin' the name of Christ!"

KC said...

yes. that was awesome. :D

Mulled Vine said...

I violate the Veggie Tales and will sing the theme song in public, but I must confess that's more to embarrass my daughters! :)