#12. Say cheese.

Actually, don't.
Let's find out why. God doesn't like cheese. This is why:

33The LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, 34"When you come into the land of Canaan, which I give you for a possession, and I put a case of leprous disease in a house in the land of your possession, 35then he who owns the house shall come and tell the priest, 'There seems to me to be some case of disease in my house.' 36Then the priest shall command that they empty the house before the priest goes to examine the disease, lest all that is in the house be declared unclean. And afterward the priest shall go in to see the house. 37And he shall examine the disease. And if the disease is in the walls of the house with greenish or reddish spots, and if it appears to be deeper than the surface, 38then the priest shall go out of the house to the door of the house and shut up the house seven days. 39And the priest shall come again on the seventh day, and look. If the disease has spread in the walls of the house, 40then the priest shall command that they take out the stones in which is the disease and throw them into an unclean place outside the city. 41And he shall have the inside of the house scraped all around, and the plaster that they scrape off they shall pour out in an unclean place outside the city. 42Then they shall take other stones and put them in the place of those stones, and he shall take other plaster and plaster the house.

43"If the disease breaks out again in the house, after he has taken out the stones and scraped the house and plastered it, 44then the priest shall go and look. And if the disease has spread in the house, it is a persistent leprous disease in the house; it is unclean. 45And he shall break down the house, its stones and timber and all the plaster of the house, and he shall carry them out of the city to an unclean place. 46Moreover, whoever enters the house while it is shut up shall be unclean until the evening, 47and whoever sleeps in the house shall wash his clothes, and whoever eats in the house shall wash his clothes.

48"But if the priest comes and looks, and if the disease has not spread in the house after the house was plastered, then the priest shall pronounce the house clean, for the disease is healed. 49And for the cleansing of the house he shall take two small birds, with cedarwood and scarlet yarn and hyssop, 50and shall kill one of the birds in an earthenware vessel over fresh water 51and shall take the cedarwood and the hyssop and the scarlet yarn, along with the live bird, and dip them in the blood of the bird that was killed and in the fresh water and sprinkle the house seven times. 52Thus he shall cleanse the house with the blood of the bird and with the fresh water and with the live bird and with the cedarwood and hyssop and scarlet yarn. 53And he shall let the live bird go out of the city into the open country. So he shall make atonement for the house, and it shall be clean."

Leviticus 14:33-53 (ESV)

So if you read this, you would clearly see how much God doesn't like mold. And I mean why should anyone like mold? That's gross. Apparently, mold is a big deal. I mean if you get any mold, God makes you kill a birdy. Killing birdies is sad.

But the cheese that God hates the most in Bleu. Why? It's all freaking mold. None of it is actual solidified cow juice. It's all freaking mold. And it tastes really crappy as well. God doesn't like food that tastes crappy.

Next time you order a salad and it has cheese on it you should go outside the restaurant and find two birds. Kill one of them and sprinkle the blood on the salad. Then it is clean and you can now eat it. Then let the other bird go into the restaurant and scream "JESUS!!!" like that guy at that concert.

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